Gary Ong | September 10th, 2021

We all make mistakes. Sometimes they’re avoidable. Other times, they are necessary. We’ve all heard the conventional wisdom that learning is what you get when you don’t get what you want. Yet, mistakes hurt. They can feel like a personal sleight, a scar on personal character that will never go away.

Mistakes are the norm in a startup. We try to minimize their numbers, but they’re there. Sometimes, it might mean designing a flawed experiment that output inconclusive data. Other times, it might be missing a minor deadline or a meeting. Whenever I make a mistake, I tell myself that mistakes happen because I m pushing a boundary. “How will you ever learn if you’re not making mistakes.” “How will you ever create something new if you don’t make a few mistakes along the way.” Yet, it doesn’t make it feel any better.

But over time, I’ve come to realize that it is not the mistake that hurts. It is actually my non-acceptance of the mistake. The thought, “I don’t want to or shouldn’t make a mistake” makes the mistake hurt. If we accept the mistake, there is actually a rush of energy that comes to help us course correct. Once we accept the mistake, we can walk out of the fog of recrimination towards action and decision. So now when I make a mistake, I just remind myself of this. There are three steps that have to happen after a mistake: regret, acceptance, and action. So, take a deep breath. Feel the regret. But then, step forward. Accept then act.